Putting the ‘lumber’ in lumbersexual

Being in the woods requires 'stache wax. Photo: © TNG
Being in the woods requires ‘stache wax. Photo: © TNG

The Lumbersexual lifestyle has taken the nation by storm. Across the U.S., we’ve seen beards start to grow everywhere as a fashion statement — but some are taking it further by adopting the classic red plaid flannel, the bushy chin, and keeping their bodies in ax-swingin’ shape.

Yeah, Mr. Beardman might look like a lumberjack, but has he ever chopped anything other than vegetables in his kitchen before?

As a beard grower, I get tagged with the “lumbersexual” label a lot. I have no idea why though…

Halloween '15. Photo: © TNG
Halloween ’15 via Snapchat. Photo: © TNG

Okay, maybe I do, but you know what? If I’m going to look the part, I might as well play the part too.

This begs the question: Can a lumbersexual become a lumberjack?

Recently, the makers of Dinty MooreⓇ stew set out to answer this. They invited four lumbersexual-looking dudes to train with competitive lumberjack, and beardsman, Adrian Flygt; and thus, the #MooreJacks were born.

With Flygt’s training and wisdom, the Moore Jacks will compete with the best in show at the Stihl Timbersports U.S. Pro and Collegiate Championships July 15-16 in Chicago. Where is the ax emoji when you need it?

With this came my own desire to break through any possible boundaries of lumbersexuality, regardless of how occasional they might be, and split some friggin’ wood in half.

Not only did I get to play with an ax and hit some logs, but I got to cook some Dinty Moore Beef Stew over an actual campfire and eat it to regain my lumberjack strength.

Here’s how it went, take a look:

JUST an FYI: A good three seconds in this video is actual footage of legitimate pain after hitting a log and having it fly back into my shin.

So now, can a lumbersexual become a lumberjack? Sure, why the hell not! It’s going to take a ton of practice and potentially weeks in a weight room, but if a man’s lumberjack wardrobing skills are on point, he can make damn sure his wood splitting skills are also on point with rigorous training and plenty of campfire cooked Dinty Moore Beef Stew!


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